She's In Love

The Life-Love Game continues; and like the part i played at our Candy Land game last night, I am watching my little girl skip on ahead in pure joy, ecstatic love and solid confidence!

Since the revelation to her that Jesus loves her more than Momma or Daddy do (which is aLOT), the little girl at our house has beamed at me over her lunch plate, "Jesus loves me more than you or Daddy do?"  Her little mouth has turned up in the hugest smile at the dinner table, "Jesus loves me more than you do!"

The love blooming in her face, the confidence resonating in her voice bring so much more abounding joy and soothing peace to me than any of her familial love declarations! And to hear the "Jesus songs" she's begun to "compose" fills my maternal love bank even more than the day she took her first step.

I'm so glad to see her ...

so in love.

The Life-Love Game

Now that my babies are tucked into their beds for naptime, the sounds of a quiet afternoon and the smells of a steaming hot chocolate swirl deliciously together into some sort of Motherhood Home Spa treatment (the kind you can wear a ponytail AND a lunch-stained shirt to).

There remains, out of its swirly vapors, the ahhhhh feeling of a life-altering lesson those very same babies have taught me since they first arrived on the scene:

LOVE.

At first the love was like eggnog at Christmastime --- i couldn't get enough, and i felt almost desperate to soak up every possible moment of their little lives before they morphed into teenagers.

Yet ... I was almost afraid to love them too much -- to place in their pudgy, gripping hands too much of my love, of my very soul.  A bad case of the "what-if's" had set up camp my soul and threatened to push out the love already camped there.

What if something happens to them?  What will happen to them in the future? What if something happens to me and i'm not there to help them grow up?  What if i love them more than i love God or more than serving Him?

I did spend a great deal of time in the first year of both child's lives simply loving and delighting in them.  Everything about their sweet little bodies and their emerging personalities, developments, milestones.  I also began to see my hormones aligning into a more normal arrangement and sleep patterns drifting back to their usual, wonderful, unbroken schedule.

And God gently soothed and massaged, worked on and finally revealed the final product better than any Spa treatment ever could.

Love is not about me.  Or how I feel.  Or what I want.

Love is about the other person.  And entrusting them and the whole Life-Love Game to God.  He IS love, after all.

So.  Even in the very most recent of days, God and the children He's entrusted to me have taught me several things about LOVE.

1. Love Freely

- Without fear 
There is no room in love for fear. Well-formed love banishes fear. Since fear is crippling, a fearful life—fear of death, fear of judgment—is one not yet fully formed in love. I John 4:18

- Without holding too tightly. 
Love ... Doesn't force itself on others, I Corinthians 13:5

My second child has helped me to understand this one and apply it!  He's a Cling-On.  He clings to me.  Most times, if I leave the room - even when he's absorbed in something - his radar picks up my movement and follows me, usually with huge tears in his eyes.  He has a mindset, which is under remodel, that if he and i are downstairs together and i am coming up regardless of the laundry piled in my arms, i should carry him.  We had a day last week of working through that, and finally i had to tell him,  

"Momma can't always help you.  You can do this.  You have to do some things on your own.  But Jesus will help you."  From a mother's heart that does take delight in being able to help her children, that was a step for me to love freely and point him in the direction of the love & care of Jesus, which is even better than mine.  Speaking of....

2. Love Jesus More

Today the kids and i took a short walk on the snow-studded sidewalk down our street.  My heart found great love in the sun-streaked, wintry moment: the delight of my toddler son discovering snowballs and the pure joy of my daughter's every snow-crunching step. BUT my heart found greater love in walking through that moment hand-in-hand with Jesus, rejoicing in the daily revelations of His delights and joys.

I do love the children God has placed in our home very much.  But as I've been able to slowly release them a little more and curl just a finger or two around their sticky ones, more of my fingers are now free to wrap around God's hand, too.  We are all holding hands in this Life-Love Game, but it's as a cord of three strands.  One day they will release even that final finger of mine and grasp onto His totally.

3. Jesus Loves Us More

It's not uncommon for my first child to tell me or Daddy 10 times a day that she loves us, even within minutes of the previous declaration.  But today she said something that one-upped her love expressions for us: "I love Jesus very very very very very much!"

I then took a deep breath and moved my earthly maternal love to the side so as not to block the view of her heart's vision, and told her that Jesus loves her very very very much too --- even  more than Momma & Daddy love her. 


Too Much
I love these children God has placed in our home.  But i love them too much to hold them too tightly to myself and, thereby, too far from the love of God, from learning to trust and know HIM.

You Win
So because I love them, I am asking You, God, to help me to daily point them to You and to Your love for them.  You are the winner in this Life-Love Game, and i want them to play on Your side always.

Thank You for sharing them with me for a time.  I am having lots of fun.  But I love You more and trust You because You already know them better than I ever could.

A Nimrod Kind of Year

Very recently, the words of a great sermon struck my ears, one of the points being that the majority of those who choose to follow Jesus will not be called to a life of full-time ministry, but to a life of working in their profession while simultaneously serving and loving people day-by-day, minute-by-minute.

My current profession races minute-by-minute on the still-pudgy toddler heels of a truck-loving little boy and the prancing "look-at-me-Momma" feet of a preschool girl.

There are days that slip in and sometimes get stuck on the Peanut Buttery Days of raising young children (the days that are packed with the protein of life but that if come at you all at once, leave your tongue stuck to the roof of your mouth, preventing you from uttering anything coherent!).  

In such a state of incoherency, it's easy to get stuck into a wrong line of thinking that my profession doesn't really impact the Kingdom of God, doesn't really make a mark on eternity.

But then the peanut butter is wiped away, and i remember that my profession has the enormous potential to make a phenomenal impact for eternity, and that i had better stick to THAT and make the most of every short, fleeting day that i have with these children God has placed in our home!

So, with last Sunday's sermon in mind and today's Bible reading in hand (www.lincolncitychurchwomen.blogspot.com), i received my challenge for this new year.  Well, it's good for every year, but it seems to be especially vibrant right now.

From Genesis 10:8   ... Nimrod... was a great hunter before God.  There was a saying, 'Like Nimrod, a great hunter before God.'

I don't know how the saying, "What a nimrod" came to be so derogatory because obviously the original Nimrod was incredibly talented; but if i can be called by my children and husband this year as a wife like Nimrod, then count me in.

Not that i want to be a great hunter --- although there ARE days when perhaps some of his tactics might come in handy with MY troops!

But the fact that challenged me today was that he was proven and great in his profession AND that he did it before God.

Nimrod wasn't known as a great minister or preacher or prophet, but he was known --- KNOWN, as in, thru the ages and worthy enough to be mentioned in the Bible -- known as a great hunter before God.

Which leads me to believe he was in communion, in fellowship with God.  All the time.  Spear in hand, bow in hand, dead bear or lion in hand.

He was great at what he did for his profession -- and i have to believe it was because he did it before God.  With God.

Lord, that's what i want this year.  I want to be known by my husband and children as a great mom/wife before God.  But i can't do it without You.  So I'm asking for Your help this year and every year to come.

Make me a Nimrod of Moms, of Wives.

For Your glory and so that this family might make an impact for eternity.  Let me not waste the time or skills or energy You stand ready to pour into my life, nor waste the lives You've put in my temporary charge.

Thank You for a New Year!  It's Yours!  Be glorified!